I finished listening in audible this recommendation by Adam Grant, Fool Proof.
The words went very fast through my ears in the past few days; I am shocked that it is possible to finish an audiobook in a couple of days by listening during the downtimes between work and life. There is no way I could spend reading a book that very fast.
What can we do about it? That is part of the title. The book tells many scenarios about how we, humans, feel and react when we are taken advantage of or when we think we are about to.
One thing that made me think deeply was the chapters related to women and moms being the scenario or conditions where being taken advantage of by society excellent examples. The book listed studies where women are expected to play nice by the rudeness of masculinity, and if not, they rock the order, and men may feel insulted. And how moms take most of the load in maternity to spend more time and money than dads do towards kids, but still, we want women to rise to the sky and break the glass ceiling.
Maybe it is because I listened to it too fast, but I am not sure I got out of the book what to do when I feel I am taken advantage of or about to be.
Now I have a new meaning in my repertoire of identifying emotions. This week I made a request, and it was of such massive importance to me that in my imagination, anyone would have to drop all they were doing to answer me. I did not get that; I felt taken advantage of after all my devotion to it! I felt like setting things upside down. After reading the book is much easier to understand now that these feelings are a normal part of being human.
I also learned that I quickly removed the discomfort by bringing down cognitive dissonance and creating a story to soothe me.
I think Seth Godin was right. First, we feel something and then create a story around it. Also supported by this book I read last year about how minds change; there is nothing rational about us; we are first emotions, then stories.